We’ve got a while to wait before The Batman actually hits theaters. In the meantime, DC fans are doing what they can to get their Caped Crusader fix. Once such fan decided it would be a good idea to have a bot watch hours upon hours of Batman movies to see what an AI-generated script for a Batman movie would look like. As it turns out, it’s insane, hilarious and downright incredible.
This is the work of writer Keaton Patti. Recently, Patti took to Twitter to explain his process and shared the first full page of the script. That one page contains more talking points than perhaps all of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, which is really saying something. Here’s what Patti had to say.
“I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Batman movies and then asked it to write a Batman movie of its own. Here is the first page.”
The thing kicks off with our hero in the Batcave, who is celebrating as the city is now safe because he, and this is a direct quote, “punched a penguin into prison.” Things get even weirder. Alfred is Bruce Wayne’s “batler” who refers to him as “mattress Wayne,” as opposed to Master Wayne. And that’s just within the first few lines. To say that things get exponentially more insane from there would be an understatement. The page revolves around Joker and Two-Face busting into the Batcave who hate him for “being a bat.” As with any good Batman story, we must be reminded that his parents are dead.
“Batman looks around for his parents, but they are still dead. This makes him have anger. He fires a batrocket. The Joker deflects with his sick sense of humor. A clownly power.”
Things get progressively crazier from there. Batman requests that Alfred give “birth” to Robin, which isn’t exactly canon within the DC universe, to say the least. Alfred, being the good sport that he is, grants master Wayne’s wish. Though that plotline, sadly, isn’t really followed up with. The Joker then hands a gift to Batman, which comes with something of a pretty incredible twist.
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“Batman opens the present since he’s a good guy. It contains a coupon for new parents, but is expired. This is a Joker joke.”
It’s impossible to predict where a full AI-written Batman movie would go, but it would certainly be worth a read based on this one page. As for when we’ll get an actual live-action movie centered on the Dark Knight? Robert Pattinson will suit up as the hero for director Matt Reeves. Filming on The Batman is set to begin early next year, which will be ready in time for a June 25, 2021 release. Be sure to check out the full script page from Keaton Patti’s Twitter.
I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Batman movies and then asked it to write a Batman movie of its own. Here is the first page. pic.twitter.com/xrgvgAyv1L
— Keaton Patti (@KeatonPatti) August 13, 2019